Posts filed under 'Best Relationship Resources'
President States That Marriage is Indeed Between a Man and a Woman
We all know that marriage is between a man and a woman although the gay and lesbian community wishes to change all that you see. Recently in an online forum a debate about gay marriage became rather heated due to the fact that I mentioned that the real problem with the gay marriage thing is that it is so; In your face at times.
After having the riot act read to me I find out the debater on the other side of the gay marriage controversy is not what I expected so I said; thank you for letting us know that you are married to a transsexual, so we can better understand where you are coming from.
She or he or it then states; “Saying that every “flagrant gay male” between the ages of 17 and 28 is a social time-bomb is flat-out bigoted. What on earth could you be thinking with this?”
Indeed it is interesting how this out of control gay and lesbian community fringe will twist a conversation so I restated; I did not say that every 17-28 year old flagrant gay male is a social time-bomb. I indicated that the Homosexual Fringe which is causing all the problems, makes all the threats and often are social time-bombs are of those ages. I also indicated that the homosexual fringe was less than 20% of the whole. This is a factual observation.
Of course our homosexual fringe was more interested in picking a fight than discussing the reasoning on gay marriage and he, she or it states; “You sound like a bigot to me, frankly. A more subtle one than usual. But perhaps that’s just because you’re polite and you now (almost) know what you’re “not supposed to say”.
Indeed I am politically savvy. However, I also think that this admitted homosexual fringe person too easily denies the true scope and seriousness of this gay fringe and simply dismisses my actual real examples and observations and carry on with your comments attempting to over ride fact by calling me a name; in this case a bigot? Well, this is typical guerilla warfare, but it does not change the facts. We should consider this if we are to ever wish to engage the homosexual and out of control fringe in any so-called discussion on gay marriage. My advice to you; don’t waste your time. Just vote no on any and all gay marriage issues. Thank you.
“Lance Winslow” – Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/
November 20th, 2008
The Beauty Of Mexico Destination Weddings
The popularity of Mexico destination weddings has been steady on the rise, and for good reason. One of the most significant changes to hit the world of weddings recently has been the rise in popularity of so called destination weddings.
For those who do not already know, destination weddings are weddings in which the entire wedding party and all the wedding guests gather in a particular location, often a beach resort or similar desirable location, in order to enjoy not only a great wedding but a great vacation as well.
Following the wedding, the newlyweds often will honeymoon in the same resort that hosted the wedding.
The Popularity Of Mexico Weddings Are Growing At A Fantastic Rate
Since Mexico has always been such a popular spot for couples on their honeymoon, it just stood to reason that Mexico destination weddings would enjoy great success, and they certainly have.
As a matter of fact, destination weddings are so incredibly popular that many Mexican resorts are beginning to cater to the destination wedding crowd, with everything from special room rates for the wedding party to full time wedding planners whose job it is to make sure the entire wedding comes off without a hitch.
Locating The Perfect Mexico Destination That Will Meet The Needs Of Your Wedding
When planning such a wedding, however, it is important to choose a resort location that has plenty of experience putting these special weddings together.
There is a great deal of expertise needed to handle the myriad details required with a destination wedding, so it is important to make sure that the resort can handle everything you need.
This is particularly important if anyone in your party has any special needs, or if you are looking for a particular kind of wedding experience. Luckily, there are many great resorts in Mexico, so finding the perfect location for Mexico destination weddings should not be all that difficult.
Start Planning Early
No matter what kind of wedding experience you favor, however, it is important to start the planning early.
Planning early is essential for any wedding, but it is even more important to plan ahead when it comes to all those great Mexico destination weddings.
Shaunta Pleasant is a professional writer and editor on wedding topics. Visit my site to learn more about planning the perfect wedding at
http://www.best-wedding-plan.com/mexico_destination_weddings.html
November 20th, 2008
Saving Money as a Newlywed Team
As a newly wed couple, you may not always agree on things; however, when it comes to financial survival, the both of you will need to put your heads together and make some decisions with regard to money management.
For this reason, it is always wise for a married couple to seek financial marriage advice. A financial planner can help with matters such as whether or not to get a prenuptial agreement, and what percentage of your income to put into a joint bank account, and some wise investments to start out with.
Other decisions are best made between the two of you. What are your spending habits? Who will balance the checkbook? Who will pay the bills? What investments do you wish to make? What are your financial goals and what is your plan to reach them?
Another aspect of marriage that may require planning is your wedding budget. That would include everything from the price of engagement rings all the way to the actual wedding cost.
Planning your financial future together is crucial for a healthy marriage. If the both of you choose to undergo premarital counseling, take a few sessions to communicate about your financial issues. Get started early, and continue with couple counseling after tying the knot, as well.
Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.marriedfinances.com and http://www.successfulmarriageresource.com, great online sources for marriage and finance information.
November 18th, 2008
Know More About Engagement Rings
A man’s proposal to a woman would never be complete without an engagement ring. Engagement rings have been part of the tradition of countries all over the world. Engagement rings symbolize love and commitment to the person given with it.
All engagement rings come with diamonds from various sizes and no other stone can be placed with it. It has been interpreted that the round and never ending shape of the ring symbolizes the never-ending love and devotion to a woman. It is also a sign of offering ones commitment to the other person.
There are many types of engagement rings that are sold in the market. However, there are things that need to be considered before buying one like the type of ring, the diamond, the trends that are in the market and even the value. When choosing an engagement ring, these are the things that buyers need to check on.
The diamond of the engagement ring should be considered before all things. There are four areas to look for in a good diamond. They are the cut, clarity, color and carat.
When the cut is considered, it simply means the number of angles that are in the diamond including their proportions. The cut gives luster to the diamond. The fire or the shine of the diamond will depend on how many cuts are in it. The more cuts in the diamond, the more costly it becomes.
Diamonds are colored yellow in nature. The colorless ones are considered to be the most expensive and the most sought for diamonds. These colorless diamonds are very rare, which is why they are priced higher than the yellow ones. When considering an engagement ring, it is better to choose one that has a colorless diamond.
Clarity of diamonds refers to the impurities that are in them. These impurities resulted from pressure, heat, and rock sedimentation for over thousands of years. Clarity of a diamond could not be judged using the naked eyes. However, those diamonds that are priced higher are considerably high in clarity.
Acquiring an engagement ring may be done through cash or credit in jewelry stores. There are various types that are sold and some may come in installment plans. When buying from a jewelry store, the name and the credibility of the store should be considered. This will ensure that the engagement ring is authentic and has a very good quality. There are also engagement rings that can be found in pawnshops where great savings are guaranteed.
There are also some who use an inherited ring as engagement rings. These may be rings that were passed over to the sons and grandsons and should be given to the women they would like to marry. Those who have inherited these rings are considered fortunate since they surely saved thousands of dollars plus, they were able to impress their girlfriends with this romantic approach.
Engagement rings come in different trends and styles. This will depend on the taste of the person who selected a specific engagement ring. There are men who prefer the classic or the antique types of engagement rings. On the other hand, many prefer the trendy ones. The trend nowadays includes platinum and white gold for rings.
Men should not forget the commitment that comes with an engagement ring, no matter the price, the style or how large the diamond is in the ring. The symbol engagement rings carry should not be forgotten. It does not matter whether a ring is expensive or not, what matters is the commitment to love and devotion that should be kept once a ring is offered to a woman.
Robert Thatcher is a freelance publisher based in Cupertino, California. He publishes articles and reports in various ezines and provides engagement ring resources on www.your-engagement-ring.info.
November 18th, 2008
Preparing for Divorce Court
Although it is highly preferable to arrive at a legal separation agreement or divorce settlement through some form of mediation, there are times when a couple cannot reach an agreement and the case simply must go to trial.
If you decide to have a trial, you must first fully realize that it is unlikely to be an easy divorce. Additionally, with lawyer’s fees on the rise, say goodbye to the idea of having a low cost divorce and to thousands of dollars of your hard-earned money. Be prepared to postpone your life after divorce for another year, and possibly longer. In some states, judges have been known to take more than a year to even assign a court date.
The following divorce advice may help you know what to expect when you take your case to divorce court:
Remember that a divorce trial is public. Be on time and try to behave with dignity. Resist the temptation to get angry and emotional.
Be honest with your lawyer and with the court. Knowing that you are acting with full integrity will give you confidence when making your appeals
Work with your lawyer as a team to create a winning strategy.
Join a support group. Doing this will help you to work out the emotional stuff outside of the courtroom and outside of your lawyer’s consultation time.
Dress conservatively. Keep your appearance well-groomed, simple and light.
Avoid extravagance.
Speak clearly and audibly. If your words cannot be heard by everyone in the courtroom, you may be asked to repeat what you said.
Coping with divorce is often more difficult for those who need to have a trial. If there is still a possibility for mediation, do your best to work with your spouse and with both of your attorneys. At best, the professionals that you and your spouse hired are trying to offer their best divorce help to all concerned.
Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.lifeaftermarriage.com a great online source for finance information.
September 25th, 2008
Stop Divorce: “Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If You’re Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?”
Thinking about getting a divorce doesn’t necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce. Conversely, it could be wise to try to s top your divorce, only you know whether you should. Just because you’re thinking about getting a divorce, doesn’t necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce, although its logical to automatically assume so.
In order to be clear that you really want to stop your divorce if you’re thinking about getting a divorce, you should use any or all of the following steps to make that determination:
Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 1: Examine why you’re thinking about getting a divorce and clearly define and outline those reasons.
This is a vital part of determining whether you really do want to stop your divorce. It is easy to naturally think you should get a divorce if feel empty, confused, alone, frustrated, etc. But do yourself a favor, figure out what actually has you feeling like you do and write it down. Only then will you be able to decide whether you should make a serious effort trying to stop your divorce.
Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 2: Determine if guilt is seemingly forcing you to think about wanting to stop your divorce of if there’s something inside you that really wants to stop the divorce.
Guilt can play a factor when you’re thinking about getting a divorce, don’t let it be the determining factor for wanting to stop your divorce. If guilt is the major reason that you want to stop your divorce, sit down and re-think everything. Ask yourself if you’ll feel sorry for your spouse because you know how he or she will react to your decision to get a divorce. You will know if guilt is swaying you one way or another.
Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 3: Use projection to foresee how how your spouse will react if you try to stop your divorce.
You know whether your spouse will be please or disgruntled if you try to stop your divorce. You have an idea of how he or she will react if you try to patch things up and avoid a divorce. If your spouse will react positively if you try to stop your divorce, you should be happy. You may have a chance to make it work. But, if your spouse will react harshly to efforts to stop your divorce, you should ask yourself why. Figure out what your spouses motivations would be for reacting negatively and determine whether or not its still worth trying to stop your divorce or if you should just develop a plan to part amicably.
Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 4: Think about what your life would be like if you tried to stop your divorce and compare that scenario with what your currently going through.
Figure out what you want out of the situation and decide what you want your future to look like. If you feel that your life will worsen by trying to stop your divorce, maybe you should re-think what your planning. If you feel that you’d like to at least try to stop your divorce, even if its for selfish reasons, then take comfort in the fact that you’ve at least made the decision to act. Also, ask yourself whether or not the life you want is with your spouse, even if everything turned out exactly the way you planned for it and you were able to stop your divorce.
Ask yourself, “Even if I implement this plan and manage to stop my divorce, is this really the person I want to spend my life with?” The answer to this question will help you determine your course of action.
Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 5: Implement your plan of action to either stop your divorce or plan to get a divorce.
Nothing will change if you don’t act. Now that you’ve decided to work it out or get a divorce, set a plan in motion with your true end goal in mind. If you want to get a divorce, do what you need to in order to get what you need out of the situation…be amicable. You do not want to look back later on and feel like you didn’t act in a mature fashion.
If you truly want to stop your divorce, use the right resources to determine the best course of action to do that. Divorce is serious, you should make certain for your sake and for your spouse’s sake that you did all you could to stop your divorce…and be happy about it!
© Karl Augustine, 2005
“A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce”
Deciding on Divorce
Stop Divorce
September 21st, 2008
How to Help Someone Fall in Love with You or at Least Like You a Lot
Imagine, for a moment, your ideal partner. He or she may not have been part of any of the relationships you have experienced so far. On the other hand, the person you imagine may be your spouse or significant other. The “who” is not important for this exercise. Now imagine that ideal person’s face as you want it to look. Does it have a smile or a scowl?
If you said it has a scowl, make an appointment with me fast! And not because I wear a scowl, but because you need help.
Whom Do We Choose…And Who Chooses Us?
Most of us want the significant relationship in our life to be someone who genuinely smiles a lot, whose eyes sparkle, who is filled with fun energy, and who is someone we consider to be “good company”. Of course, this is not enough foundation for building a lifelong healthy relationship, but it is a start. It is the ability to smile, to have fun and to involve others that help to attract the opposite sex.
Smiling Is A Vital Social Cue
Smiling is one of the first things we do as conscious humor beings – beings who are born with a sense of humor. An infant smiles, perhaps without knowing why, to say that it is non-threatening. It is a gesture of reassurance. It says “I will not hurt you, and you should not hurt me. I am of good humor.”
What works for us as infants also works as adults. If men want to attract women, or women want to attract men, what is the first thing they do when their eyes meet? They smile – perhaps shyly, perhaps hardly noticeably, maybe it’s just a slight facial twitch. But the message is clear: “I like what I see and I hope you will like me.” It is the initial tentative step in any friendly relationship.
Of course, one smile does not guarantee another in return. You might get a scowl. That’s a definite message to keep away. Smiles and scowls are primordial signals of encouragement or warning employed by all mammals and crossing all language barriers.
Take a dog, for instance. If it is pleased to see you, it has a grin from ear to ear and its tail wags crazily. Bared teeth, on the other hand, leave no mistaken impression that you are welcome. One false step and you’ll need a patch in your trousers. We don’t speak “doggish”, though the language is clear. Smiles and scowls avoided fights to the death in prehistoric times – and sometimes do today.
Smiling Is A Precursor To Bigger And Better Things!
So you gaze across a crowded room, smiling for three hours? Clearly, the smile is just the beginning, the message that says: “I am safe to approach,” and implicitly asks the question: “Are you?” An answering smile means at least that there is no danger. Now, you need to follow up in some appropriate fashion.
“I’m in love with you, will you marry me?” is clearly not appropriate. In this respect, we are not like dogs. There is a protocol or acceptable behavior to follow. The next step is to get the other person to like us, and to find out if we like them. Go back to what you want your ideal partner to be like. One of the things most of us want in a relationship is fun – and my special prescription, The Fun Factor is the best way to learn the fun attitude that attracts mates in droves!
That does not mean we want to listen to corny jokes all day. It means pleasurable activity, and the prospect of such activity in a loving relationship.
After the smile, that first approach needs to be relaxed and to relax the other person. Will talking about you do it? Hardly, if that’s how you open a conversation. Do this too soon and you could destroy a potential relationship before it even begins. Why should the other person be interested in you, what you do and what you think? Ask about the other person? That’s better. That person’s life is more likely to be of interest to them than yours is. And when the other person does the talking, they think you are a great conversationalist.
But it’s still too early for that. Starting with a serious conversation is usually a mistake, though it is frequently made.
Becoming Childlike Is The Key To Forming Lasting Healthy Relationships
Why should forming a new relationship be so difficult when it was so easy for us early in our lives? If you need proof of how easy it was, watch two infants able to crawl but not yet able to talk. Listen to the gurgles they make to one another, and the squeals of delight. They have not yet learned embarrassment, shyness, timidity, to be afraid of rejection. No one told them yet to fear others, that some would not be friendly or welcome them.
They can’t talk, but they already know how to have fun with each other.
Watch them when they are four. They will play together for hours, chattering away, inventing games with seemingly unlimited imagination. They form attachments and real friendships. No one taught them how. They just let their curiosity take over. They still have little experience with embarrassment. No one has explained relationships, they simply happen naturally.
You know what? There are no rules other than being natural and having fun. Only when a child enters school, where rules and discipline have to be enforced to maintain order, does innocence start to give way to the realities of a world in which not all is pleasant and fun. Only then, as a rule, are they taught not to speak to strangers because strangers can be dangerous.
The Key To A Great, Healthy Relationship…Become The Person You Desire
The same is true now. There is no cookie-cutter set of rules for attracting the opposite sex. What works for one couple does not work for another. But there are some constants. One of them is to use The Fun Factor to be a fun-loving person, remembering the simplicity and lack of deviousness of small children. An appropriate sense of fun and good humor can be the trigger for that magic spark that can turn into love.
When you have revealed a sense of humor that is attractive to the other person, you will have the opportunity to show that you are also a caring person, kind-hearted, loving, attentive, good parent potential, protective and all the other things in whatever combination is attractive to your potential partner. And you will be able to find out the same things about them. Then, you can become more committed.
But first, you will have to pass the fun test. Is there still a small child in you?
Discover the secrets of a (formerly) stressed-out psychiatrist; Clifford Kuhn, M.D., America’s Laugh Doctor, teaches people and organizations to be more healthy and successful through the use of fun and humor. The former associate chairperson of the University of Louisville’s renowned Department of Psychiatry, Dr. Kuhn dispenses his prescription for turbo-charging your health, success, and vitality from http://www.natural-humor-medicine.com On his website you will find tons of fun, free ways for you to maximize your sense of humor, and enjoy a life others will admire and envy.
September 19th, 2008
Divorce Roadmap: The Route Around the Legal System
Let’s look at how a divorce case works so you can see what you face and how you can beat the legal system. The legal divorce process is similar in all states, but there are two common sets of terms. In this article, I use the first set.
Spouse who starts the divorce = Petitioner or Plaintiff
Document filed = Petition or Complaint
The other spouse = Respondent or Defendant
Document filed (if any) = Response or Answer
Orders for divorce and terms = Judgment or Decree
All divorces start with a Petition and end with a Judgment. The Petition sets out in very general terms what the facts and issues are and what the Petitioner wants. After being filed with the court, it is served on the other spouse to give notice that the case has started. The Petition is a simple, standard document. Filing and serving it is not complicated.
The other spouse can now file a Response if he or she wants to be involved in the legal process. This has to be done within a stated time, typically 30 days after the Petition is served. The Response is similar to the Petition, a simple document that is easy to do. The effect of the Response is simply to get the other spouse into the case on an equal footing with the Petitioner.
If a Response is filed, the case is “contested.” If there is no Response, it is assumed that the Respondent concedes all issues according to the broad terms of the Petition and the case is “uncontested.” If the couple has made a written marital settlement agreement before the Petition is filed, there won’t be any reason for the second spouse to enter the case.
As you can see, there are only three ways you can go through the legal system from Petition to Judgment:
- You go with an attorney through the legal system to trial where a Judge will impose decisions about property, children and support.
- More commonly, you will go through the legal system until your attorney can negotiate an agreement with your spouse’s attorney about property, children and support. Once you have an agreement, all that’s left is a lot of paperwork and red tape.
- Do it yourself. This means that you and your spouse work out an agreement outside the legal system with only limited assistance from attorneys. As you will see from my articles on divorce, doing it yourself has so many advantages that it is by far the best way of all.
Contested and uncontested divorces are dramatically different:
- The uncontested divorce is relatively simple: it goes straight through paperwork and red tape to judgment. Some couples will need to work out a written marital settlement agreement beforehand. A routine appearance in court by Petitioner may be required, but many states, such as California, have simplified procedures that typically don’t require a hearing–uncontested cases are so routine that they don’t want to take up valuable court time with them. That’s all there is to it. With a little help, almost anyone can do their own uncontested divorce.
- Contested divorces are another matter entirely. There are lots of steps in a contested case and each step is quite complex. They include pre-trial motions, discovery, negotiations, manadatory custody mediation, pre-trial settlement conference, and finally, the trial. This is lawyer country; you can’t go through a contested divorce very effectively without one. It takes lots of time, money and emotional suffering to get through a contested divorce.
Any contested case can become uncontested if one spouse simply drops out of the contest or if the spouses reach an agreement–the earlier, the cheaper. However, when you are represented by attorneys, it is much more difficult to reach agreement. When negotiations are conducted through attorneys, it is typical for a case to drag on and on and run up large attorneys’ fees before it settles.
Advantages to a Legal Contest
It might seem odd after all I’ve said, but there are some advantages to a contested divorce in some cases:
- In high-conflict cases, you can get some restraining orders.
- If your spouse is playing hardball, it may be better to fight rather than give in.
- Fighting is an outlet for or diversion from the pain of divorce.
- Anger and fighting help sever bonds of attachment and affection.
In some states, there is a chance for material gain–if you win. - And, finally, some people just feel like fighting.
If you have to fight, Divorce Solutions: How to Make Any Divorce Better (the book from which this article was excerpted) discusses how to run a controlled battle effectively and how to avoid some of the worst disadvantages.
The disadvantages to a legal contest, however, are truly impressive:
- Both sides get drained financially and emotionally.
- Two lawyers double the personalities in the case and increase the complexity of every communication, making settlement much more difficult.
- Kids can get harmed, perhaps permanently; chances for cooperative co-parenting in the future will be seriously impaired.
- Imposed terms are often not adhered to, so you end up in more hassles, spending more money and time on enforcement.
- Your upset becomes entrenched, runs deeper and lasts longer. Since your real goal is to get on with your life, this holds you back and down–perhaps forever.
Now that you know the route around the legal system for a divorce, you are ready for my article Divorce–How to Beat the System.
Copyright 2005 Ed Sherman
Ed Sherman is a family law attorney, divorce expert, and founder of Nolo Press. He started the self-help law movement in 1971 when he published the first edition of How to Do Your Own Divorce, and founded the paralegal industry in 1973. With more than a million books sold, Ed has saved the public billions of dollars in legal fees while making divorce go more smoothly and easily for millions of readers. You can order his books from http://www.nolodivorce.com or by calling (800) 464-5502.
September 18th, 2008
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